Download Dogtology: Live. Bark. Believe. by Jeff Lazarus PDF

By Jeff Lazarus

Dog·tol·o·gy
noun
1. the idea in puppy.
2. The approach of rituals, practices, and behaviors engaged in by way of Dogtologists.

Chew on this. As people, now we have a deep have to think . . . a necessity to narrate to whatever higher and extra perfect than ourselves. might be that is why such a lot of hundreds of thousands think in puppy. Man's devotion to puppy has come to rival the nice -isms and -ologies of the realm. This has long past manner past a pastime. We would possibly not actually worship canine, yet we come pawfully shut. This rabid reverence for Rover has a reputation: it truly is referred to as Dogtology. Dogtology is for the puppy lover who has bailed on a date simply because they did not wish Twinkles to be left domestic by myself, for the human whose puppy owns a extra festive vacation dresser than they do, these whose domestic dogs dine on free-range bison burgers whereas they stay off ramen, or whose smartphones have extra photographs in their puppy than of the people of their relations.

Live. Bark. Believe. Dogtology is a funny exploration of man's fanatical devotion to puppy. during this e-book, Lazarus makes the case that Dogtology has develop into a bone-a-fide trust procedure on par with the world's nice philosophies and religions.

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Extra resources for Dogtology: Live. Bark. Believe.

Example text

And they do so with the type of unfettered joy one reserves for eating a hot-fudge sundae, shopping for that special dress, romancing the perfect woman, or imagining we’re saving 50 percent on mayonnaise by buying the fifteen-gallon tub at Costco. Day in and day out, all around the world, human beings organize their lives around dogs. Belief in Dog is one thing that never wavers in a Dogtologist’s life. , chewing up a wallet right after you’ve stocked it with fresh cash; biting a litigious neighbor on the rear as he’s bending over to look in his mailbox; decorating the yoga mat with runny doo; or barking all night at a shovel stuck in the ground—is enough to shake a Dogtologist’s faith one iota.

In short, if future archaeologists were to dig up your home and catalog its contents, they would conclude without hesitation that Dog was your central object of religious devotion. ) The veritable shrines humans build to their dogs—in their homes, around their communities, and in the media—are proof positive that Dogtology is indeed a bone-a-fide belief system that stands proudly alongside all the other great -isms and -ologies of the world. Dogtology, as understood by practicing Dogtologists, can be defined as: The unconditional, loving belief in Dog as a superior being and, in many ways, Man’s savior.

Dog does not care whether Man is a criminal, an idiot, a failure, fat, skinny, brilliant, or mentally challenged. Dog does not care about what’s in it for him by being Man’s friend, because when Dog offers friendship, it is friendship for life. Dog knows that humans are about as loyal as fleas during mating season, that they’re more faithful to their hair-care products than they are to each other, and that half of their marriages end in divorce, yet Dog remains loyal, through thick and thin. Dog never fails Man!

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